torresD
2005-01-02 02:37:19 UTC
Some wives even attend his
weddings and bring the bride gifts.
But he said he keeps each wife in
a separate villa and sometimes even
in a different town to keep the peace,
and assures each that she's his favorite.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2005-01-01-saudi-polygamy_x.htm
Saudi man with 58 wives stirs polygamy debate
USFAN, Saudi Arabia (AP) -
In 50 years, he says,
he has married 58 women and has
forgotten the names of most of them.
He knows he has had 10 sons,
but ask about daughters and he
counts on his fingers:
22. No, no, 28.
No, that's too many.
He settles on 25.
'I'm the happiest man in the world,'
says Saleh al-Sayeri.
By Hasan Jamali, AP
Saleh al-Sayeri,
a 64-year-old shepherd-turned-businessman,
says his marital adventures have cost him
more than $1.6 million in wedding expenses
and settlements for divorced wives.
But the man who remembers being forced
into his first marriage at age 14 says
he'd do it a million times over.
"Marriage doesn't bore me,"
he said,
relaxing on cushions at a carpeted,
open-air reception area in his 22-horse
stable in Usfan,
in the desert 500 miles west of Riyadh.
"I'm the happiest man in the world."
Al-Sayeri's story might seem a bizarre curiosity,
but it touches a nerve in Saudi Arabia,
the status of whose women is a matter
of international controversy.
When it surfaced in Saudi media in March,
some readers reacted angrily.
A woman who identified herself as Maryam,
a convert to Islam, wrote to the Arab News,
an English-language daily, that al-Sayeri's
story "really sent me over the edge."
"What kind of a family structure is this?
What is divorce doing to the psychologies
of the ex-wives and children?
How can this man devote any
quality time to his children -
teaching them about Islam and
being a constant role model?"
Al-Sayeri dismisses such critics as "crazy,"
insisting he is not breaching Islamic laws,
which permit a man to have four wives at a time.
"I have a clear conscience," he said.
None of Al-Sayeri's ex-wives could be reached.
He said many have remarried,
but to reveal their identity
would be a gross violation of
Saudi custom.
One of his sons said his
mother has remarried,
but refused to give details.
Divorce has become quite common in the kingdom,
with press reports saying half of all marriages
break up.
But the fate of a divorced woman
depends on her parents' frame of mind.
If they oppose the divorce,
they likely will confine her to
the house and monitor her movements.
She will be barred from dating
or working without family permission.
The notion of a single career
woman barely exists here.
Women cannot even drive.
They cannot get an education,
travel or check into a hotel
without a male guardian's
permission.
Some parents, on the other hand,
are modern-minded enough to let
their daughters finish their
schooling or go out to work.
And although Islamic laws permit a
man to have four wives at a time,
most Muslim men today take one wife,
because it has become the cultural
norm and polygamy is costly.
Money is not an issue for al-Sayeri,
who says he has made a fortune trading
in cars and property.
He is a dark,
medium-built man with black
mustache and goatee who heads
the Sayer, a southern Bedouin tribe.
He also raises camels and horses.
He has had 10 sons, one of whom died.
Two sons who were at the stable
while their father was being
interviewed rolled their eyes
whenever the subject of marriages
came up.
They said they had come to accept
that their dad is "mizwaj,"
a man who likes to marry often.
Fahd al-Sayeri,
who inherited his father's passion for horses,
recalled a desert hunting trip some 15 years
ago in the remote Empty Quarter.
He and his friends had gone in search
of gasoline when they heard celebratory
gunshots coming from a tent.
They had come across a wedding.
"Out of politeness,
we asked who's wedding it was," Fahd said.
"The guests responded with my father's name.
I was shocked," he added.
It's not that the elder
al-Sayeri hides his marriages.
He just doesn't always bother to spread the word.
He said two of his daughters learned they
were sisters and two sons they were brothers
at school.
Some wives even attend his
weddings and bring the bride gifts.
But he said he keeps each wife in
a separate villa and sometimes even
in a different town to keep the peace,
and assures each that she's his favorite.
Son Fahd, a 32-year-old bachelor,
is adamant he won't follow in his
father's footsteps.
"No, no, no," he said.
"One will be enough for me."
Al-Sayeri said he has married first cousins
and women from about 30 tribes all over
the kingdom.
"As a leader of a tribe,
I can't marry just anybody," he said.
He said three of his four current wives
have been with him 18 to 40 years.
The fourth seems to be the
one who usually gets replaced.
"It's the one for renewal,"
said al-Sayeri,
sipping cardamom-flavored coffee
after a dinner of spicy lamb and
rice.
"I like to change my fourth wife every year."
His latest marriage -
and at 10,000 guests his most sumptuous -
was to a 14-year-old girl nine months ago.
She was the perfect age, he said.
When he heard about her,
he sent his niece to check her out.
She came back with a favorable report.
Then he visited her family.
When the girl came into the living
room to offer him refreshments -
an excuse for him to see her face -
he asked her if she would marry him.
"She was shy at first and didn't
answer but then she said yes,"
al-Sayeri recalled.
"Now, we're such good friends
it feels we've known each other
40 years."
A Saudi woman will usually marry
whomever her family chooses,
and marriage is considered
acceptable from the onset of puberty.
Al-Sayeri claims he has never
forced a woman to marry him,
and has never been turned down.
His ex-wives get a divorce settlement
set out in a prenuptial agreement and
he supports the children, he said.
He said all his divorces are documented
with court-issued papers that usually
follow this declaration to his wife:
"You are divorced."
He said today's women are
"more pleasant to have around."
"They take better care of themselves,
use makeup and do not run away every
time I want to touch them," he said.
Al-Sayeri said he will keep on marrying
until the number of wives he has acquired
equals the number of years he has lived.
weddings and bring the bride gifts.
But he said he keeps each wife in
a separate villa and sometimes even
in a different town to keep the peace,
and assures each that she's his favorite.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2005-01-01-saudi-polygamy_x.htm
Saudi man with 58 wives stirs polygamy debate
USFAN, Saudi Arabia (AP) -
In 50 years, he says,
he has married 58 women and has
forgotten the names of most of them.
He knows he has had 10 sons,
but ask about daughters and he
counts on his fingers:
22. No, no, 28.
No, that's too many.
He settles on 25.
'I'm the happiest man in the world,'
says Saleh al-Sayeri.
By Hasan Jamali, AP
Saleh al-Sayeri,
a 64-year-old shepherd-turned-businessman,
says his marital adventures have cost him
more than $1.6 million in wedding expenses
and settlements for divorced wives.
But the man who remembers being forced
into his first marriage at age 14 says
he'd do it a million times over.
"Marriage doesn't bore me,"
he said,
relaxing on cushions at a carpeted,
open-air reception area in his 22-horse
stable in Usfan,
in the desert 500 miles west of Riyadh.
"I'm the happiest man in the world."
Al-Sayeri's story might seem a bizarre curiosity,
but it touches a nerve in Saudi Arabia,
the status of whose women is a matter
of international controversy.
When it surfaced in Saudi media in March,
some readers reacted angrily.
A woman who identified herself as Maryam,
a convert to Islam, wrote to the Arab News,
an English-language daily, that al-Sayeri's
story "really sent me over the edge."
"What kind of a family structure is this?
What is divorce doing to the psychologies
of the ex-wives and children?
How can this man devote any
quality time to his children -
teaching them about Islam and
being a constant role model?"
Al-Sayeri dismisses such critics as "crazy,"
insisting he is not breaching Islamic laws,
which permit a man to have four wives at a time.
"I have a clear conscience," he said.
None of Al-Sayeri's ex-wives could be reached.
He said many have remarried,
but to reveal their identity
would be a gross violation of
Saudi custom.
One of his sons said his
mother has remarried,
but refused to give details.
Divorce has become quite common in the kingdom,
with press reports saying half of all marriages
break up.
But the fate of a divorced woman
depends on her parents' frame of mind.
If they oppose the divorce,
they likely will confine her to
the house and monitor her movements.
She will be barred from dating
or working without family permission.
The notion of a single career
woman barely exists here.
Women cannot even drive.
They cannot get an education,
travel or check into a hotel
without a male guardian's
permission.
Some parents, on the other hand,
are modern-minded enough to let
their daughters finish their
schooling or go out to work.
And although Islamic laws permit a
man to have four wives at a time,
most Muslim men today take one wife,
because it has become the cultural
norm and polygamy is costly.
Money is not an issue for al-Sayeri,
who says he has made a fortune trading
in cars and property.
He is a dark,
medium-built man with black
mustache and goatee who heads
the Sayer, a southern Bedouin tribe.
He also raises camels and horses.
He has had 10 sons, one of whom died.
Two sons who were at the stable
while their father was being
interviewed rolled their eyes
whenever the subject of marriages
came up.
They said they had come to accept
that their dad is "mizwaj,"
a man who likes to marry often.
Fahd al-Sayeri,
who inherited his father's passion for horses,
recalled a desert hunting trip some 15 years
ago in the remote Empty Quarter.
He and his friends had gone in search
of gasoline when they heard celebratory
gunshots coming from a tent.
They had come across a wedding.
"Out of politeness,
we asked who's wedding it was," Fahd said.
"The guests responded with my father's name.
I was shocked," he added.
It's not that the elder
al-Sayeri hides his marriages.
He just doesn't always bother to spread the word.
He said two of his daughters learned they
were sisters and two sons they were brothers
at school.
Some wives even attend his
weddings and bring the bride gifts.
But he said he keeps each wife in
a separate villa and sometimes even
in a different town to keep the peace,
and assures each that she's his favorite.
Son Fahd, a 32-year-old bachelor,
is adamant he won't follow in his
father's footsteps.
"No, no, no," he said.
"One will be enough for me."
Al-Sayeri said he has married first cousins
and women from about 30 tribes all over
the kingdom.
"As a leader of a tribe,
I can't marry just anybody," he said.
He said three of his four current wives
have been with him 18 to 40 years.
The fourth seems to be the
one who usually gets replaced.
"It's the one for renewal,"
said al-Sayeri,
sipping cardamom-flavored coffee
after a dinner of spicy lamb and
rice.
"I like to change my fourth wife every year."
His latest marriage -
and at 10,000 guests his most sumptuous -
was to a 14-year-old girl nine months ago.
She was the perfect age, he said.
When he heard about her,
he sent his niece to check her out.
She came back with a favorable report.
Then he visited her family.
When the girl came into the living
room to offer him refreshments -
an excuse for him to see her face -
he asked her if she would marry him.
"She was shy at first and didn't
answer but then she said yes,"
al-Sayeri recalled.
"Now, we're such good friends
it feels we've known each other
40 years."
A Saudi woman will usually marry
whomever her family chooses,
and marriage is considered
acceptable from the onset of puberty.
Al-Sayeri claims he has never
forced a woman to marry him,
and has never been turned down.
His ex-wives get a divorce settlement
set out in a prenuptial agreement and
he supports the children, he said.
He said all his divorces are documented
with court-issued papers that usually
follow this declaration to his wife:
"You are divorced."
He said today's women are
"more pleasant to have around."
"They take better care of themselves,
use makeup and do not run away every
time I want to touch them," he said.
Al-Sayeri said he will keep on marrying
until the number of wives he has acquired
equals the number of years he has lived.